I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
