So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
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We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
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