I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
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