Ketchup is God's man juice
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
