My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
