FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
