oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
only if we run a train.
done.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
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And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
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It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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