i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
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Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
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Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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