Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
