Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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