No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
