Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
