The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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