am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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