K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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