I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
