Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
mondays should just be called national damage control day
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
