That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wish life had little blips of pornography
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
