Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
