Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
