I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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