Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
They should really pass out barf bags in church
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
