why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
