I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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