You work out of a Hotel?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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