12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
