my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
