first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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