I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
