You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
