I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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