problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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