Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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