Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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