just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
