arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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