We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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