YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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