i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
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oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
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Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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