So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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