if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
