Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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