no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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