One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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