is wine microwaveable?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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