I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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