Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
