So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
this hospital has no fireball
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
