Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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