How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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