yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I want to be your penis for a week.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
