speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
