you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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