i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
