I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
