So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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