so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
