you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
