On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
