I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
