CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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