pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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