Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
