I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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