You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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