i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Help me help you realize you are a moron
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
