there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
