Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
