He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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