In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
